This is a wonderful Auden quote—thank you. I am now going to reference a similar sentiment…but from a fortune cookie I received earlier this year: "You don't pay the price of success, you enjoy the price of success."
I vaguely sense some inner contradiction in the essay. It's hard for me to formulate it yet. I'll continue to think.
I'm a person driven a lot by a need of self-respect. Granted at times it means not getting respect from others, which can be pretty painful.
I am also driven by a constant desire to learn more, knowing how much I do not know.
Then mustn't I extend those qualities to others? They might just as well be driven by self-respect as they understand it, which might prevent them from, say, ABC, and lead them , to, say, XYZ.
PS it's hard for me to predict what shape my writing will take, and in what language it'll be. That was a question about writing. Maybe it's okay and I should leave well alone, just try to do the best each time. Or maybe it'd be better to try and focus?
Yes I do have, unfortunately, well-based-on-reality "I can't". Of course I try to lie to myself and others by attempting to live like it ain't so. Based-on-reality "I can't" is a very bitter pill to swallow.
Thank you so much for reading this and sharing your thoughts! The "inner contradiction" you refer to…I'm intrigued…
One thing your comment is making me think about: the based-in-reality "I can't" can be painful when it means you see, very clearly, how BAD and UNFAIR reality is…but you're there anyway! Just living in it! Like in Anna Karenina—later on in the book (this is not a spoiler, really) Anna really struggles with her desire to be close to her son and be a good mother, and the feeling of vitalty she gets from loving Vronsky, and she really can't accept that society will force her to choose between these things. So she really hesitates in making certain decisions, and having certain conversations (with her husband, with Vronsky)…it's almost like she wants to believe she can defer the decision until reality changes, and then there won't be this unfair tradeoff. But reality doesn't change.
Pounding my fist on the table chanting "Yes, yes, yes" as I hit like on this
Unfortunately due to a recent diagnosis of chronic self deception (haven't done a creative output in over a year) I will be attempting The Artist's Way this winter
good luck with The Artist's Way! I honestly found it very very helpful…maybe I should write something about this in January, but I'm almost 4 years into doing my Julia Cameron–prescribed morning pages and they've been amazingly useful for getting me to actually write/publish things!
Important topic to write about, especially in this day and age. Social media and its algorithms have made it so much easier to feed our confirmation bias and place us inside echo chambers that it really takes a lot of intentional effort to seek out and engage with arguments we disagree with. While I do enjoy reading stuff that affirms my beliefs, if something fits my existing worldview a little too neatly, I start getting a little suspicious.
That's one thing I like about rationalism; it really encourages people to think deeply about their cognitive biases. And once you're more aware of all the little pitfalls we can succumb to, you can get better at noticing when you might be falling into self-deception! I think it's something we can train in ourselves.
totally agree—it is uncomfortable how enjoyable it is to just read things that are already in line with how I think, are easily assimilated into my world view…
the Eric Neyman post you shared is really interesting! the discussion on Harris's ground game in swing states was unexpected to me (and contradicts some other discussions I've seen online): "I think there’s evidence that Harris’ campaign was more effective than Trump in the most important states. Here is a map of state-by-state swings in vote from 2020 to 2024, relative to the national popular vote…While literally every state swung rightward relative to 2020…notice that all seven swing states — Nevada, Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin — swung right less than the nation."
Yup she really underperformed in traditional Democratic strongholds (with the exception of Washington state). Not sure exactly why but my gut tells me large swathes of the electorate has felt like the Democratic party has left them behind, which is compounded by the effects of inflation over the last couple of years. I hope future Democratic candidates deliver a better message for working class and spend more time on appearing in social media / alternative forms of media (e.g. TikTok, YouTube, podcasts, Substack, etc.).
Then again, this could all be my confirmation bias talking lol
ah I really love the exclamation marks throughout, they have a lightness and a heaviness at once. I admire your pro-autumn stance though I also think it's scandalous.
Ben!! thank you for sharing this—I really love the phrasing "identification with an identity" as something that can overly constrain people, and appreciate how you defined it here:
'One has various identities or roles one plays, self-conferred or conferred by others…And one can identify with them in the sense of taking the identity not to be something one has…adopted, or has had foisted upon one…but of being what one is, really and deeply, such that further things about oneself follow from it. One sees it in statements like "I'm an English major, so …"; "I'm an artist, so [something about an unconventional personal life is apt to follow]"; "I'm a geek, so …"…One has some, many, or all of the trappings of, and will be assigned, some label or identity; it's a further step to embrace it, and yet a further step to see oneself as defined by it, with further consequences for who one is, what one does, etc.'
Wonderful read! Reminds me of James Baldwin quote I came across in Naomi Klein's Doppelgänger: “If we understood ourselves better, we would damage ourselves less. But the barrier between oneself and one’s knowledge of oneself is high indeed. There are so many things one would rather not know!”
And while you've quoted him a lot in here - I'll just pile on and say I have always found Oliver Burkelman's line from his first book on acknowledging reality to be particularly helpful - “I’m aware of no other time management technique that’s half as effective as just facing the way things truly are.”
I have struggled so much with honesty, all the levels. But a shorthand version has emerged for me - I ask, where can I not feel intimacy? With now, with myself, with another, with the world. There, there is the place to bring the laser of deeper frankness, more radical honesty. Only what I am honest about can I experience the kiss of true intimacy
Thank you for a thoughtful, provocative read. Wow! I unplugged from political media after the election. I am thoroughly enjoying that. So this one thought is uninformed other than by my instinct. Dems (and I have been one since 1972) need to stop with the holier-than-thou approach to people who disagree with them and also make bettering the lives of people who work a higher priority than catering to identity politics.
Beautiful writing. As always. I’m buying “Lies and Sorcery,” thanks for the recommendation. One thought about delusion and doing things: More and more I believe the difference between me being able to do something and not is simply a matter of grace. It seems to me a matter more of spirit than will, in my case. Some days I have power and others I don’t and I don’t know where it comes from.
A great read riddled with great examples. I enjoy when writers source many other works because it also lets me expand my own knowledge. Well written and well explained - I think you made this an accessible read for people of all levels of academia/none academics 👍🏻 looking forward to the next works
This is splendid. Reminds me of: "Failures either do not know what they want, or jib at the price." W.H. Auden
This is a wonderful Auden quote—thank you. I am now going to reference a similar sentiment…but from a fortune cookie I received earlier this year: "You don't pay the price of success, you enjoy the price of success."
I like that! The Auden quote probably changed my life.
Great essay, thank you.
I vaguely sense some inner contradiction in the essay. It's hard for me to formulate it yet. I'll continue to think.
I'm a person driven a lot by a need of self-respect. Granted at times it means not getting respect from others, which can be pretty painful.
I am also driven by a constant desire to learn more, knowing how much I do not know.
Then mustn't I extend those qualities to others? They might just as well be driven by self-respect as they understand it, which might prevent them from, say, ABC, and lead them , to, say, XYZ.
PS it's hard for me to predict what shape my writing will take, and in what language it'll be. That was a question about writing. Maybe it's okay and I should leave well alone, just try to do the best each time. Or maybe it'd be better to try and focus?
Yes I do have, unfortunately, well-based-on-reality "I can't". Of course I try to lie to myself and others by attempting to live like it ain't so. Based-on-reality "I can't" is a very bitter pill to swallow.
Thank you again
Thank you so much for reading this and sharing your thoughts! The "inner contradiction" you refer to…I'm intrigued…
One thing your comment is making me think about: the based-in-reality "I can't" can be painful when it means you see, very clearly, how BAD and UNFAIR reality is…but you're there anyway! Just living in it! Like in Anna Karenina—later on in the book (this is not a spoiler, really) Anna really struggles with her desire to be close to her son and be a good mother, and the feeling of vitalty she gets from loving Vronsky, and she really can't accept that society will force her to choose between these things. So she really hesitates in making certain decisions, and having certain conversations (with her husband, with Vronsky)…it's almost like she wants to believe she can defer the decision until reality changes, and then there won't be this unfair tradeoff. But reality doesn't change.
Pounding my fist on the table chanting "Yes, yes, yes" as I hit like on this
Unfortunately due to a recent diagnosis of chronic self deception (haven't done a creative output in over a year) I will be attempting The Artist's Way this winter
good luck with The Artist's Way! I honestly found it very very helpful…maybe I should write something about this in January, but I'm almost 4 years into doing my Julia Cameron–prescribed morning pages and they've been amazingly useful for getting me to actually write/publish things!
What a feast of an essay. Thank you!!
thank you, as always, for reading!!! I'm always touched
increasingly convinced that you should write the updated, more nuanced artists way
I think I need to marry/divorce a renowned filmmaker first…who's the next Martin Scorsese??
Important topic to write about, especially in this day and age. Social media and its algorithms have made it so much easier to feed our confirmation bias and place us inside echo chambers that it really takes a lot of intentional effort to seek out and engage with arguments we disagree with. While I do enjoy reading stuff that affirms my beliefs, if something fits my existing worldview a little too neatly, I start getting a little suspicious.
That's one thing I like about rationalism; it really encourages people to think deeply about their cognitive biases. And once you're more aware of all the little pitfalls we can succumb to, you can get better at noticing when you might be falling into self-deception! I think it's something we can train in ourselves.
Regarding politics, I really enjoyed how https://substack.com/inbox/post/151685356 challenges some of the prevailing election narratives.
totally agree—it is uncomfortable how enjoyable it is to just read things that are already in line with how I think, are easily assimilated into my world view…
the Eric Neyman post you shared is really interesting! the discussion on Harris's ground game in swing states was unexpected to me (and contradicts some other discussions I've seen online): "I think there’s evidence that Harris’ campaign was more effective than Trump in the most important states. Here is a map of state-by-state swings in vote from 2020 to 2024, relative to the national popular vote…While literally every state swung rightward relative to 2020…notice that all seven swing states — Nevada, Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin — swung right less than the nation."
Yup she really underperformed in traditional Democratic strongholds (with the exception of Washington state). Not sure exactly why but my gut tells me large swathes of the electorate has felt like the Democratic party has left them behind, which is compounded by the effects of inflation over the last couple of years. I hope future Democratic candidates deliver a better message for working class and spend more time on appearing in social media / alternative forms of media (e.g. TikTok, YouTube, podcasts, Substack, etc.).
Then again, this could all be my confirmation bias talking lol
ah I really love the exclamation marks throughout, they have a lightness and a heaviness at once. I admire your pro-autumn stance though I also think it's scandalous.
thank you! (thank you. a somber moment unfolds in the space of a parenthetical)
I am committed to celebrating the seasons; there's nothing else to do, really, bc they show up whether you're ready for them or not
season of mists innit
I cannot resist dropping a link to an old thing of mine on bad faith: https://waste.typepad.com/waste/2016/10/bad-faith-briefly-expounded.html
Ben!! thank you for sharing this—I really love the phrasing "identification with an identity" as something that can overly constrain people, and appreciate how you defined it here:
'One has various identities or roles one plays, self-conferred or conferred by others…And one can identify with them in the sense of taking the identity not to be something one has…adopted, or has had foisted upon one…but of being what one is, really and deeply, such that further things about oneself follow from it. One sees it in statements like "I'm an English major, so …"; "I'm an artist, so [something about an unconventional personal life is apt to follow]"; "I'm a geek, so …"…One has some, many, or all of the trappings of, and will be assigned, some label or identity; it's a further step to embrace it, and yet a further step to see oneself as defined by it, with further consequences for who one is, what one does, etc.'
Wonderful read! Reminds me of James Baldwin quote I came across in Naomi Klein's Doppelgänger: “If we understood ourselves better, we would damage ourselves less. But the barrier between oneself and one’s knowledge of oneself is high indeed. There are so many things one would rather not know!”
And while you've quoted him a lot in here - I'll just pile on and say I have always found Oliver Burkelman's line from his first book on acknowledging reality to be particularly helpful - “I’m aware of no other time management technique that’s half as effective as just facing the way things truly are.”
I have struggled so much with honesty, all the levels. But a shorthand version has emerged for me - I ask, where can I not feel intimacy? With now, with myself, with another, with the world. There, there is the place to bring the laser of deeper frankness, more radical honesty. Only what I am honest about can I experience the kiss of true intimacy
Thank you for a thoughtful, provocative read. Wow! I unplugged from political media after the election. I am thoroughly enjoying that. So this one thought is uninformed other than by my instinct. Dems (and I have been one since 1972) need to stop with the holier-than-thou approach to people who disagree with them and also make bettering the lives of people who work a higher priority than catering to identity politics.
Beautiful writing. As always. I’m buying “Lies and Sorcery,” thanks for the recommendation. One thought about delusion and doing things: More and more I believe the difference between me being able to do something and not is simply a matter of grace. It seems to me a matter more of spirit than will, in my case. Some days I have power and others I don’t and I don’t know where it comes from.
A great read riddled with great examples. I enjoy when writers source many other works because it also lets me expand my own knowledge. Well written and well explained - I think you made this an accessible read for people of all levels of academia/none academics 👍🏻 looking forward to the next works