I vaguely sense some inner contradiction in the essay. It's hard for me to formulate it yet. I'll continue to think.
I'm a person driven a lot by a need of self-respect. Granted at times it means not getting respect from others, which can be pretty painful.
I am also driven by a constant desire to learn more, knowing how much I do not know.
Then mustn't I extend those qualities to others? They might just as well be driven by self-respect as they understand it, which might prevent them from, say, ABC, and lead them , to, say, XYZ.
PS it's hard for me to predict what shape my writing will take, and in what language it'll be. That was a question about writing. Maybe it's okay and I should leave well alone, just try to do the best each time. Or maybe it'd be better to try and focus?
Yes I do have, unfortunately, well-based-on-reality "I can't". Of course I try to lie to myself and others by attempting to live like it ain't so. Based-on-reality "I can't" is a very bitter pill to swallow.
Thank you so much for reading this and sharing your thoughts! The "inner contradiction" you refer to…I'm intrigued…
One thing your comment is making me think about: the based-in-reality "I can't" can be painful when it means you see, very clearly, how BAD and UNFAIR reality is…but you're there anyway! Just living in it! Like in Anna Karenina—later on in the book (this is not a spoiler, really) Anna really struggles with her desire to be close to her son and be a good mother, and the feeling of vitalty she gets from loving Vronsky, and she really can't accept that society will force her to choose between these things. So she really hesitates in making certain decisions, and having certain conversations (with her husband, with Vronsky)…it's almost like she wants to believe she can defer the decision until reality changes, and then there won't be this unfair tradeoff. But reality doesn't change.
Great essay, thank you.
I vaguely sense some inner contradiction in the essay. It's hard for me to formulate it yet. I'll continue to think.
I'm a person driven a lot by a need of self-respect. Granted at times it means not getting respect from others, which can be pretty painful.
I am also driven by a constant desire to learn more, knowing how much I do not know.
Then mustn't I extend those qualities to others? They might just as well be driven by self-respect as they understand it, which might prevent them from, say, ABC, and lead them , to, say, XYZ.
PS it's hard for me to predict what shape my writing will take, and in what language it'll be. That was a question about writing. Maybe it's okay and I should leave well alone, just try to do the best each time. Or maybe it'd be better to try and focus?
Yes I do have, unfortunately, well-based-on-reality "I can't". Of course I try to lie to myself and others by attempting to live like it ain't so. Based-on-reality "I can't" is a very bitter pill to swallow.
Thank you again
Thank you so much for reading this and sharing your thoughts! The "inner contradiction" you refer to…I'm intrigued…
One thing your comment is making me think about: the based-in-reality "I can't" can be painful when it means you see, very clearly, how BAD and UNFAIR reality is…but you're there anyway! Just living in it! Like in Anna Karenina—later on in the book (this is not a spoiler, really) Anna really struggles with her desire to be close to her son and be a good mother, and the feeling of vitalty she gets from loving Vronsky, and she really can't accept that society will force her to choose between these things. So she really hesitates in making certain decisions, and having certain conversations (with her husband, with Vronsky)…it's almost like she wants to believe she can defer the decision until reality changes, and then there won't be this unfair tradeoff. But reality doesn't change.